Friday, March 25, 2016

7 Quick Takes about the Profane Side of Buying in Bulk, Not-So-Divine Intervention, and Letting Your Depends® Flag Fly

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?

1


I've been doing some stocking up on diapers and happened to see this box at Jet.com:

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}
When you want diapers with a little extra "wow" factor.

This is what happens when you name the smallest package of diapers "jumbo." There's nowhere to go from there. I've seen super packs (big,) economy packs (bigger,) and I guess the next logical step is OMG.

Pity they're out of stock, because I almost want to buy them. It sounds like there's an amazing surprise inside, instead of just... a lot of diapers.

2


Finally, Phillip has been back in town for a full week! He's had several work trips lately and I'm getting tired of it.

To prove it, here's his email informing me of his most recent trip:

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}

And my response back:
It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}

(I'm aware there are military wives with deployed husbands who are right now playing me a sad, sad song on the world's tiniest violin, but it's my blog and I can whine if I want to.)

3


In all his comings and goings, Phillip somehow misplaced his running shoes. He was really dejected about it because he's such an avid runner, and then one day he came home and said "I think God took my shoes."

I responded with something terribly clever like "Huh?" and he explained it to me.

You see, he'd been praying about the knee trouble he'd been having lately, but after his shoes went missing he wore his old pair for a run and discovered that it was the heel on his regular shoes that had been causing the problem all along.

So I was envisioning a scenario where not only Phillip's prayer was answered by him leaving his shoes behind in the hotel room after one of his work trips, but also that some guy with size 10.5 feet who'd been praying for shoes ended up finding them when he stayed in the same room the next night. Doesn't that sound like an awesome story from Chicken Soup for the Soul?

Instead, I was tearing the house apart a few weeks later looking for a lost library book and found them. I emailed Phillip at work:

7 Quick Takes about the Profane Side of Buying in Bulk, Not-So-Divine Intervention, and Letting Your Depends® Flag Fly  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}

And Phillip emailed me back:

7 Quick Takes about the Profane Side of Buying in Bulk, Not-So-Divine Intervention, and Letting Your Depends® Flag Fly  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}

4


This week, two of my "vintage" pieces were picked up by some parenting sites I love and I wanted to give them a shout-out. If you haven't read them, please go check them out!

36 Signs You Have a Big Family appeared on Scary Mommy on Wednesday (originally it was "42 Signs;" I have no idea why the editors decided that 36 was a better random number than 42.) If you have a sense of humor and you've got a large family, or are just morbidly curious about people who do, you'll love it.

And then Family Share (also on Wednesday, weirdly enough) republished one of my favorites, Dear Second-Time Mom Who Feels Like She's Drowning. I really did feel like the hardest transition was going from one to two kids. I struggled with feeling like The Crappiest Mom Ever, until I realized something important about giving a child a sibling.

5


Speaking of diapers, I'm not sure this is the correct way to wear these, um, absorbent adult undergarments.

7 Quick Takes about the Profane Side of Buying in Bulk, Not-So-Divine Intervention, and Letting Your Depends® Flag Fly  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}
I'll see your "leggings are not pants" argument and raise you one "fine, I'm going to yoga in my Depends."

I mean, that's one confident lady, right there.

6


My new phone and I are doing pretty well, not counting the time I tried to make a call while holding it upside-down.

However, the speakers suddenly stopped working so I'm temporarily phone-less again while I wait to get it fixed.

I'm starting to think that phone ownership is just not my destiny.

I've been trying to get a phone since Christmas, really. Originally I signed up with a free service called FreedomPop (which I really wanted to like since it's my favorite price,) but unfortunately you get what you pay for. They sent me a dead phone and then gave me the runaround for a month before I just canceled my credit card payment.

Anyway, the saga continues. We'll see if I ever become smartphone-savvy or if it's just not in the cards for a troglodyte like me.

7


Lately, our house has been under attack by the preschooler:

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}
Who doesn't love some fine art in the lavatory?

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}
It was slightly flattering when she said the drawing was me, but then I realized she was probably just trying to get out of trouble.

And since the toddler watches and copies her every move:


It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}
This is the bathroom door, which now nicely matches the commode inside.

It's 7 Quick Takes Friday! How was your week?  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}
Every piece of homework my kids have turned in this week has looked like this.

I tried making my 4-year-old clean up all her art-bombs, but she actually seemed to enjoy that and it wasn't deterring the behavior at all.

Plan B was to take all the crayons, markers, and colored pencils and require her to ask me before using any of them. So far it's working, and oddly enough she almost seems glad to have limits now. It's like she knew it wasn't a good idea, but she just couldn't stop herself from doing it anyway.

Kind of like eating Nutella right out of the jar with a spoon while hiding from the kids in the pantry after dinner. So, I mean, I sort of get it.

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Unremarkable Files

7 comments:

  1. Ha! This entire post was hilarious. My toddler has just figured out that story books are options for coloring on, too! We've tried "training" her to stay at her coloring desk, but to no avail. I'm rethinking those coloring books we thought about giving her for Easter...

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    1. I just shake my head every time I see Doodle Bears in the store... in what universe could that EVER be a good idea?

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  2. God took his shoes?? God does that to me too!
    Seriously, glad he figured out his knee problem.
    You have some serious artists in training there! Keep that toilet seat. It'll be worth thousands of dollars 40 years from now! It'll be in "The Early Years" collection!

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    Replies
    1. Someday a museum tour guide will someday be showing my daughter's "Latrine Period" pieces to grade-schoolers on a field trip, I'm sure.

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  3. Haha! You never fail to crack me up. The lady on the street in Depends...words fail me.

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    Replies
    1. I mean, I get that they just wanted to show off how the Depends don't look all bunchy and stuff, but couldn't they have placed the model in a dressing room or in her house instead of running errands around town??

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  4. It's no fun when husbands have to travel for work.

    ReplyDelete