Saturday, September 19, 2015

If I Were Captain Jack Sparrow

If I Were Captain Jack Sparrow - 10 ways life would be different if I were Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean. The headscarf is only the beginning.  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}

You know how some movies are just your "comfortable" movies? One of mine would be Pirates of the Carribbean. (Except all the ones after the first one  I prefer to forget those were ever made.)

I can't help but think things'd be different around here if I were Captain Jack Sparrow. For instance:
  • Being loopy and incoherent would be endearing and funny, not embarrassing (though in my case, it would be from sleep deprivation rather than excessive rum-drinking.)
  • I could get away with not brushing my hair. For like, a really long time. And somehow the look would still work for me.
  • I'd be capable of fancy footwork and near-impossible acrobatic feats, instead of tripping over my kids' shoes in the hallway and almost dislocating my shoulder.
  • I could enter the scene with my own majestic theme music (see video.)


  • I could rock a headscarf.
  • I'd finally stop being surprised when I get out of the shower to find that my crew has been busy pillaging and plundering the whole time.
  • I wouldn't get bent out of shape when my stuff got ruined, house got messy, ship got sunk, etc.
  • My eyeliner would always be done, no matter what.
  • I could respond calmly to the most catastrophic event or discovery with a nonchalant, "That's interesting."
  • I would pretty much always be savvy.

Enjoy the rest of your day  it's International Talk Like a Pirate Day, you know! 

If I Were Captain Jack Sparrow - 10 ways life would be different if I were Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean. The headscarf is only the beginning.  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}

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7 comments:

  1. Great list! I do agree that the original is best (you have inspired me to watch it to celebrate the day). I enjoy a few lines/ scenes from the next two but didn't watch any of the ones that followed the "trilogy."

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    1. In researching this post I found they are actually releasing a fourth one in 2017. Really? How many movies can they squeeze out of a single theme park ride?

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  2. The first one s the best. I could handle being jack sparrow for a day.

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  3. I agree, after the first one I lost interest in any of the others

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    1. I think I watched the second and was too put off to see the third.

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  4. I never watched it. But I can totally see by all your reasons, how awesome it would be, to be him. Hey, why wait? Go for that hairstyle today! And don't forget the eyeliner! And when someone comments, just say "My name is Sparrow, Jenny Sparrow." You can pull it off, if anyone can!

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    1. I just read a story about someone who was dressed up as a pirate at a party, having too much to drink I'm sure, when police showed up to a noise complaint. The guy said "Gentlemen, you'll forever remember this as the day you ALMOST caught Jack Sparrow!" and jumped out of the window and broke both legs.

      So maybe it's better if I just think about being Jack Sparrow rather than actually trying it.

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