You know how some movies are just your "comfortable" movies? One of mine would be Pirates of the Carribbean. (Except all the ones after the first one — I prefer to forget those were ever made.)
I can't help but think things'd be different around here if I were Captain Jack Sparrow. For instance:
- Being loopy and incoherent would be endearing and funny, not embarrassing (though in my case, it would be from sleep deprivation rather than excessive rum-drinking.)
- I could get away with not brushing my hair. For like, a really long time. And somehow the look would still work for me.
- I'd be capable of fancy footwork and near-impossible acrobatic feats, instead of tripping over my kids' shoes in the hallway and almost dislocating my shoulder.
- I could enter the scene with my own majestic theme music (see video.)
- I could rock a headscarf.
- I'd finally stop being surprised when I get out of the shower to find that my crew has been busy pillaging and plundering the whole time.
- I wouldn't get bent out of shape when my stuff got ruined, house got messy, ship got sunk, etc.
- My eyeliner would always be done, no matter what.
- I could respond calmly to the most catastrophic event or discovery with a nonchalant, "That's interesting."
- I would pretty much always be savvy.
Enjoy the rest of your day — it's International Talk Like a Pirate Day, you know!