Is a No-Gift Christmas with Kids Really Possible?

Have you ever come to dread something you once loved? Last Christmas, I realized that even though I looked forward to the cookies, the lights, the general goodwill in the air, and of course the special religious meaning for my family, I also felt an overwhelming desire to hide under the covers and not come out until January. 

The problem was my family's gift-giving, which had gotten out of hand. We were spending way too much time, effort, and money on stuff that didn't add value to our kids' lives, and on top of it all the house was always a disaster because it was too much for any of us to organize and manage. 

So we simply quit giving the kids gifts at Christmas. No more toys. No more stuff. 

How did our first no-gift Christmas go? Would we do it again? And would it ever in a million years work in your family? 

Here's everything you ever wanted to know about going gift-free this Christmas, but were afraid to ask.

Q: What did your Christmases look like before?

We used to get each kid four presents, plus one from Santa. That doesn't sound excessive, but with 6 kids it quickly added up, and when you added in extra toys and gadgets from extended family members it was way too much. 

I know it's a privilege being able to complain about having too much stuff, but it certainly doesn't feel like a privilege when you're drowning in it.

Q: What does a no-gift Christmas look like?

A: Each child gets one experience gift from us, and that's it. The only tangible items they receive are a stocking filled by Santa, one physical gift from Santa, and whatever their grandparents choose to get them.

Q: Were the kids actually on board with this?

A: We started by having a family meeting. We explained to the kids we wanted to avoid waste and focus on doing stuff together instead of giving stuff. At first they were skeptical (especially the younger ones,) but once they started making lists of fun places they've always wanted to go they got excited about it.

Q: Wait a minute. Wasn't Christmas Day super-lame without gifts to open?

Well, they still have a few gifts to unwrap from Santa and their grandparents. But aside from that, we tried to make the experience of opening the experience gifts fun by printing out a certificate for each experience and packaging it creatively. 

We rolled up the 5-year-old's certificate and stuck it in a balloon for him to pop, and the 13-year-old's went in this folded paper pyramid. In future years maybe we'll wrap certificates in a bunch of boxes inside each other, have them follow a strand of yarn all over the house to find it, make a scavenger hunt, or write it in a scrambled language to decode.

Q: What kind of experience gifts did you give?

We're big believers in family time over individual date nights with each child, so it felt natural for us to include everyone who was able to participate in each experience. Here's what we did last year:

5yo: Trampoline park for the whole family

7yo: Laser tag for the whole family

10yo: Escape room for one parent and the 3 kids who were old enough

13yo: Adult go-kart racetrack for one parent and all kids who met the height requirement

15yo: Virtual reality room for the teenagers and a parent

17yo: Semester of piano lessons at a local music school (not exactly a family experience, but it was something she really, really wanted)

We found a lot of ideas by searching our city on Groupon and Trip Advisor. You could try indoor skydiving, pop-up museums, an overnight hotel stay with a pool and pizza for dinner, or one of those pay-by-the-pound ice cream places where you do all the toppings. The experiences could even be free: a cool sledding hill they've never been to before, or an "anything goes" night where they stay up late and create the itinerary.

Q: How did your first giftless Christmas go?

Every time we drove home from one of those experiences with the kids talking about it excitedly with each other in the backseat, I felt like we'd done the right thing. This year there was no wasted time and effort tracking down presents no one used, no landfill of wrapping paper and packaging waste in the living room, no meltdowns the week afterward trying to organize the avalanche of toys. I even heard my 10-year-old exclaim several times at the escape room "This is the best Christmas present EVER!!!"

Q: Were there any downsides to not exchanging gifts at Christmas?

A: It was challenging to juggle so many people's schedules to find a time to actually do all the experience gifts. We tried to complete as many as possible in the week between Christmas and New Years, but we didn't finish all of them until March. Also, our no-gift Christmas was not cheap. Most people assume we saved a ton of money, but obviously eight admissions to the trampoline park costs more than a few plastic toys. In all, it probably ended up costing about the same as before.

Q: Any tips for me if I want to try a no-gift Christmas with my family?

A: In the past, we'd tried encouraging extended family members to get us experience gifts, which was met with mixed reactions and didn't work well for a variety of reasons. We found it was much easier to fix our own gift-giving and let everyone else do what they felt comfortable with.

Start out by clearly deciding what you're trying to accomplish with a no-gift Christmas: to be more environmentally conscious? more responsible with your money? less overwhelmed by the number of toys in the house? Involve the kids, come up with a plan, and commit to trying it for just one year. Explain you can always go back if they don't like it.

Q: What if I want to downsize Christmas but I'm not ready to give up gifts altogether?

Dip your toes in by giving experience gifts with a small related trinket, like a zoo pass with a dollar store bag of plastic animals or tickets for a monster truck rally with a Hot Wheels vehicle. It will get you and your kids used to the idea without going completely cold-turkey.

You can also explore other ways to ease your holiday burnout. If there's Christmas decor you don't really like putting up, get rid of it. Ask your family their favorite Christmas traditions and eliminate the ones on the bottom of the list. Deep down you probably know what should be cut out to make things simpler, you just need to give yourself permission to do it.

We're heading into our second no-gift Christmas, and I couldn't be more excited. It's freeing not to orchestrate who's getting what with a literal spreadsheet starting in September, and I know that the day after Christmas I'll wake up to a calendar of fun things to do with my kids instead of a house full of clutter and chaos. At least, not any more full of it than usual.

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5 Sneaky Parenting Hacks to Get Your Kids to Obey (No Yelling!)

This post contains affiliate links, which means I may receive a referral commission if you buy something using a link you find here.

In the last 17 years of wiping butts and vacuuming up Legos, I've come across a lot of parenting hacks. Some were better than others, and some were so downright brilliant I'm upset I didn't discover them earlier! 

Your mileage may vary depending on the ages and personalities of your kids, but allow me to share with you some of my absolute favorites.

I've been using these for years, but it has to be said: these "hacks" are like Band-Aids. They're quick fixes for generally good listeners, but not exactly long-term solutions for kids who never listen. 

(If you're ready to tear your hair out because your kids ignore every word you say, I suggest trying the strategies in this book instead.) 

Countdown: T-Minus 10 Seconds

This sounds like counting to three but it totally isn't. Instead of counting to a certain number and then the kids get in trouble, you're telling them how many seconds until a specified activity is going to occur. Think of it like the countdown to a shuttle launch.

What you're going to do is use your most dramatic voice to announce "It's time for lunch in 10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1! Good job getting to the table, guys. Let's eat!" My goal is to sound super-excited about it, so the kids' competitive drive kicks in and they try to make it to the table before I hit zero (or at least don't miss the beginning of dinner.)

Slowly List Who's Obeying

Before bedtime our family gets together for kneeling prayer, and sometimes the kids are a little rowdy. (And by that, I mean they won't stop whacking each other with light sabers and doing quadruple gainers off the couch.) So I will look around and, in a positive voice, name the people I see who are quiet and ready for the prayer. 

And if none of the kids are? I'll literally say, "Who's ready for prayer? Let's see, Mommy's ready... Daddy's ready..." and they'll often fall right in line like they can't wait to get named, too. There's just something about that dopamine hit of praise and you should absolutely leverage it. (Note: I don't call out anyone for misbehaving, I just name everyone who is behaving.)

10-Minute Deep Fake

In many ways, giving your kids a choice is dumb parenting advice. When asked "Do you want to clean up your cars or your blocks first?" ten out of ten kids will say "Neither!" and keep playing. But there's a better way that actually does work.

About 10 minutes before you want your kids to do something unpleasant, ask them: "Do you want to clean up your toys now or in ten minutes?" It'll shock precisely no one when they answer "Ten minutes," but in the end they'll feel like they scored extra playtime and you'll get exactly what you wanted. 

If they still complain, a reminder that they already got 10 extra minutes (and might not next time if they don't cooperate) is usually enough to make them roll their eyes and go do it.

Tack Your Request onto a "Yes"

Make a mental note of a quick chore or something you'd like your kids to do in the back of your mind, and then save it for the right moment. Wait until they ask "Can I/we ____________?" you can cheerfully answer, "Yes, right after you put away your shoes and backpack!"

For some reason, saying "Absolutely, let's just do [insert annoying thing you don't like doing] first!" is much more well-received than me following them around asking them to pick up after themselves. (To read about a few quick clean-up games I've been known to use on occasion in our house, click here.)

Put It On a List

What things do you find yourself asking your kids to do every day? Put it on a list, and make something they really like to do (in our house, it's screen time) conditional on completion of the list. It may take some adjustment, but trust me: you'll love outsourcing some of your Nag Machine duties.

Each of our four youngest kids have lists in a page protector on the wall, with things like doing your homework, packing tomorrow's lunch, playing outside, and practicing piano. They cross off items with a whiteboard marker as they go and wipe it off to do it again the next day.

And if all else fails, you could always try the hack I discovered my 15-year-old has been using when Phillip and I are out of the house: turn the computer volume up and blast Minecraft music. The kids drop everything and come running, and she never even has to raise her voice.

I'm raising a smarter version of myself, people.

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Extreme Decluttering 101: Everything I Learned From Tackling My Messy House

Confession: I've always liked throwing stuff away, and I've always been quick to get rid of stuff that served no purpose. At least I thought I was.

But this spring I discovered a YouTuber called The Minimal Mom and long story short, ended up getting rid of 50% of our belongings. 

During an intense two months of attic-to-basement decluttering, here are some invaluable lessons I learned about figuring out how to live with less.

1. Invest in a "Maybe" Bin

When I first embarked on my decluttering journey, I kept the things I couldn't live without and put everything else in a temporary "maybe" bin. I was really aggressive about putting things in the "maybe" bin because nothing was permanent: if I regretted not having something, I could always take it back out and forget it ever happened.

I planned to keep things in the bin for 6 months as a test run of minimalism, but I was surprised to find that most of the time it only took about 10 minutes. The act of physically separating an item from the collection of "my stuff," then stepping back to look at my decluttered closet/shelf/cupboard and seeing that I still felt good about it, made letting go of things shockingly easy. 

After decluttering the entire house and garage from top to bottom, I think I ultimately took about five things back out of the "maybe" bin.

2. Consider a Tattoo that Says "Do I Use This?"

I'd done my fair share of decluttering before, but now that I was serious about it I approached each item we owned with the question "Do we use this?" instead of "Could we use this?" (It's super-important to note that these are two completely different questions.)

Honestly answering the question "Do we use this?" helped me part with items I've kept for years but could've been stolen by a burglar in the night and I most likely never would've known the difference.

If I got stuck on any item, I'd ask a follow-up question: "Would my life be any different without this?" It helped to acknowledge that getting rid of many things wouldn't negatively impact my life, it would only make the house less cluttered and easier to clean.

3. If You Won't Regret It, Get Rid of It

I encountered plenty of items that passed the "do we use this?" test, but I still got rid of them because they weren't adding very much value to my life. These two questions helped me identify those items:

• "Will I miss this?" 
• "What would happen if this item was gone?"

"Will I miss this?" helped me part with clothes I still wore but didn't particularly like. If I had other clothes I liked better, was I ever going to regret getting rid of that cream-colored sweater that shrunk a little in the dryer?

"What would happen if this was gone?" helped when I came across a cache of thermoses in my kitchen. If I didn't have the large size, I'd feel annoyed for less than a second and make do with the medium one, so I decided to donate it. 

Everything is a trade-off, and I decided that for me, the convenience of keeping an item has to justify the inconvenience of having to clean, maintain, organize, and store it.

4. We Become Immune to Our Stuff

Everything in our home multiplies, including furniture, decor on the walls and tabletops, and the contents of every cupboard, closet, and drawer. I think this is because we keep adding stuff, only "seeing" the new pieces and not the ones that were already there. 

Less than two years ago, I bought a storage cabinet because our family's scriptures and church books were scattered all over the house and we desperately needed a place for them. But once I purged the bookshelf we already had, it turned out there was plenty of room for them in there. 

I moved our church stuff into the bookshelf, sold the cabinet we'd apparently never needed, and learned a valuable lesson: don't add anything new to your house until you look around at what's already there. 

5. We Don't Have Time for All the Things... and That's Okay

For me, the kids' stuff was the hardest to declutter. We had a large craft cabinet, game cupboard, activity shelf, and a bunch of toys that rotated in and out of the attic. They were all perfectly good things that the kids played with. 

Well, when they remembered those things were there, anyway.

Eventually, I came to the realization that my kids don't have time to play with every good toy in existence (just like I don't have time to read every good book or visit every exciting place in the world) ...and that's okay. 

Decluttering is, at the heart of it, acknowledging that we have limitations on our time. In the end, I made peace with the fact that the kids will play with whatever we have, and they won't play with whatever we don't have, and either way they'll be just fine. (And, by the way, I didn't get rid of anything without their knowledge.)

6. Get Rid of Duplicate Items

We are a family of eight people who eat virtually every meal at home, so I honestly thought we needed two cheese graters, six spatulas, two sets of measuring cups, and eight mixing bowls... because we used all of them!

But I realized the duplicates were actually part of the problem with my messy kitchen. If something was dirty, we'd just grab the second (or third) duplicate instead of washing it, and so it would go, and by the end of every day the dirty dishes were stacked sky-high.

Once we got rid of the duplicates, we could no longer make that enormous stack if we tried. With fewer dishes, we end up washing the same number of things in a 24-hour period — but now the counter stays clean in between loads. 

I've known for a long time that a perpetually messy kid's room is a sign of having too many toys, but I guess the same principles also applies to kitchens, too.

7. You'll Feel Relieved

Did you know our stuff can make us feel bad? Me, neither. But as I decluttered, some very strange things happened.

For example, I got rid of a dress I love and a wave of relief washed over me. Why? Because years ago, the undershirt that goes with it went missing, and I'd been hanging onto the dress ever since in the hopes of finding a new shirt that could work. It wasn't until I finally decided to donate the dress that I realized I'd been feeling bad every time I saw it hanging in the closet, unable to be worn.

Later that same week, my daughter told me she was glad we pared down the craft supplies. She'd grown into other interests, but the presence of those unused craft supplies made her feel guilty about not using them. Meanwhile, I had no idea she even remembered they were even there.

It's kind of hard to describe the contented feeling of looking around a room and knowing that everything in it is something you use and love, but that's what I love most about decluttering. I'm more likely to fix broken things or deal with paperwork now instead of putting it off, and more motivated to clean up because it doesn't take all day to make a difference. 

And that's really saying something, because I hate cleaning.

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3 Kinds of To-Do Lists That Will Actually Work For You

This post contains affiliate links, which mean I could earn a small commission for referring you - but don't worry, you're not charged an extra cent for it.

Trying to run a household while simultaneously trying to keep all the people in it alive is no small feat. In fact, it's overwhelming.

I don't know how other people manage it, but I'm an organizer. I have systems for everything, but most of the time it feels like organizing my to-do list is the thing that makes or breaks a day.

I hate to-do lists. Do I have to keep one?

I'm sorry, but yes.

On any given day, there's an infinite number of emails to send, errands to run, paperwork to be filled out, kids' activities to register and pay for, and things to fix/clean around the house.

Simply trying to remember it all causes anxiety. When I feel totally overwhelmed, it's usually because I've been trying to keep it all in my head.

Putting all your to-dos in writing frees up brain space to actually work on those tasks instead of worry about them, and you'll usually find once you write it all down that it's not as bad as you thought.

Do a brain dump if you feel stressed right now, and then every time the thought "Oh, I have to remember to do that!" pops into your head, add it to the list. It doesn't matter if you keep it on your phone or on paper — I use a whiteboard on my kitchen wall.

3 Types of Daily To-Do Lists That Actually Get Done

Now here's the thing: AFTER YOU DO THE BRAIN DUMP YOU'RE NOT FINISHED.

I used to make that gigantic master list and then work like crazy, picking items at random and checking off as many as I could. I'd end the day exhausted, but even worse I'd feel like I'd wasted time on the wrong tasks while the more important ones were left undone.

After you do a brain dump, you need to prioritize everything into small, manageable chunks you can actually accomplish in a day. Here are my three favorite ways to do that:

1. Hourly To-Do List

If you're an optimist like me, you'll probably find an hourly to-do list helpful. Research suggests optimists are chronically late because they think they can squeeze in "one more thing" before they leave, which is the same reason we overload our to-do lists with an unrealistic number of tasks.

In the morning, I write out my waking hours for the day and block off time in hour-long increments. You could buy a snazzy day planner for this, or you could just use scratch paper and throw it away at the end of the day.

Either way, writing it down forces you to acknowledge how long things actually take, and you'll be more realistic about your time.

2. Category To-Do List

When I'm particularly struggling with balancing the various parts of my life, I find a category to-do list most helpful.

Think of your main areas of responsibility and write them down. Mine are: God, self, spouse, kids, house, blog, and church. Under each category, I write 1-2 items.

That's it. That's really all I can do in a day.

It's kind of frustrating not to be able to write down 20 things under each heading like I want to, but once I know it's all I can realistically finish anyway, it becomes easier to accept.

3. Contextual To-Do List

This suggestion comes from David Allen's productivity book Getting Things Done, which truly changed my life and lowered my stress level.

The idea behind a contextual to-do list is that you can only do certain things in certain contexts: you can't run errands if you're stuck at home with a napping baby, and you can't talk to your partner about refinishing the deck if he's at work. So why not make a list of things you can do at that moment?

When I make a contextual to-do list, everything gets sorted into the appropriate column:

• Emails/Texts
• Errands
• Phone Calls
• At Computer
• At Home
• To Discuss With Spouse

Now I have a bunch of lists of things I can do right now, whatever "right now" looks like. For example, if the kids are quietly occupied it's a good time to bust through a few items in the"phone calls" column. Before leaving the house, I check at the "errands" column to see what else I can do while I'm out.

Effective to-do lists not only remind you of all the things you need to do, they keep you organized and help you accomplish more with less stress. If your current to-do list is leaving you frustrated, demotivated, or burned out, you should definitely give one of these a try.

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How to Do Laundry for a Family of 8 Without Completely Losing Your Mind

Everyone hates laundry.

You probably hate it because it never ends, because there's always a mountain of it, because they're always behind, and because it's so utterly tedious.

While I could and would say all those things about dishes or sweeping, laundry is honestly one of the household chores I feel I've managed to make... manageable.

Add a toddler in rain boots playing a kazoo jumping on top of this pile and you have our house.

There are 8 people in my family, including a toddler and preschooler, so make no mistake, we do a lot of laundry.

It averages out to 1-2 loads per day in our house, and for those wondering how I maintain sanity amidst all that, here are my best large family laundry hacks.

Location, Location, Location

I'd be lying if I said having our washer and dryer in a closet right off the kitchen didn't make all the difference.

I can easily throw in a load, hear when it's finished, and switch it to the dryer while I'm making lunch and it doesn't seem like a big deal.

If I had to go down do the dark recesses of the basement, or even upstairs near the bedrooms, I would probably hate laundry for all the above mentioned reasons.

I know you can't exactly choose where your washer and dryer hook-ups are, but if you're remodeling or buying a new house you should definitely pay attention to it. A central location matters.

Utilize Slave Labor (i.e.: Your Children)

In our house, the kids have to pitch in and we're not at all apologetic about it. If you still wear diapers you get a pass, but everyone older than that has to do their part.

Two-year-olds can match socks and put their underwear in a pile. Four-year-olds can crudely fold shirts and pants with a little help. Six-year-olds can fold everything and put it all away in their drawers.

When you're eight, you learn how to use the washer/dryer and receive your own laundry hamper (we use laundry bags on a hook because they're easier for the kids to carry down the stairs.) From that point on, you're completely responsible for doing your own clothes from start to finish.

We give kids who do their own laundry an assigned day of the week until they're 11 or so, and after that we just tell them to wash their clothes as needed. They'll learn.

Sort by Room, Not by Color

Each kid has their own laundry bag/hamper in their room, with the exception of the 4- and 6-year-olds who share a hamper since I still wash both of their clothes.

With every kid's laundry in its own hamper, it's easy to put away. When a load comes out of the dryer, it can be brought straight to the room where it's supposed to go.

In the master bedroom I do separate mine and Phillip's whites from our colors — but that's as fancy as I get, sorting-wise. I've never had a problem washing our mediums and darks together, or, for that matter, mixing the kids' whites with their colors.

Just kidding, I never iron.

Get Out of Laundry Basket Purgatory

Some people don't mind folding 10 loads all at once over the weekend, but to me that sounds only slightly more appealing than Chinese water torture. I avoid letting clean laundry pile up at all costs, which is why I don't own any laundry baskets.

Our only laundry basket lives on top of the dryer to collect unmatched socks and random pieces that somehow got in the wrong load.

Over the course of the week it fills up and on the weekend, I call the kids to go through it and put away anything that belongs to them (it takes 5 minutes and I supervise to make sure everything gets claimed.)

When a child's laundry comes out of the dryer, anything that doesn't belong to him goes in the basket on top, and the rest of it goes back into the hamper to be returned to his room where he's supposed to fold and put it away that same day.

Does that really happen? Well, the kids aren't allowed screen time until it's done, so yeah, they're pretty motivated.

As for me, I timed myself and it takes less than 10 minutes to fold a load of laundry. I can handle 10 minutes once or twice a day, but I would curl up and die if I had to fold two hours of laundry over the weekend. So I guess you could say I'm pretty motivated, too.

Random Odds and Ends

Of course, there are always things that just need to be thrown in the wash to be done ASAP instead of languishing for a week in a hamper somewhere: stinky pee clothes, sweaty soccer socks, wet kitchen washcloths, and the like. So we have a signal.

If the lid of the washer is open, it means you can throw in dirty laundry. I just keep an eye on it (again, our washer is centrally located, so I walk past it 50 times a day) and run the machine whenever it gets full.

A closed lid means the washer's full of clean clothes, so whenever I see it closed that's my reminder to move the load into the dryer.

Because everyone in the house knows the lid up/lid down signal, dirty clothes don't accumulate in piles on or around the washer waiting to go in, or even worse, get thrown in on top of clean clothes and then put in the dryer. *retching noises*

I've spilled secrets of doing laundry for my 8-person family in hopes that it helps you. I see you, you know, wondering how to conquer the mountain of linens and clothes piling up beside your washing machine.

Comment below with any questions, or feel free to share what works in your family. If having many children has taught me anything, it's that very few things in life are one-size-fits-all.

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Screen-Free Road Trip Activities for Kids of Every Age

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When you're taking your kids on long car rides, you and I both know the easiest form of distraction is a cell phone or tablet. But in our many travels over the years, we've noticed that even though the kids beg for a movie or device, staring at them for too long in the car makes them grumpy and tired.

And honestly, between technical problems, low battery life, and the agony of waiting your turn (#firstworldproblems) I sometimes feel like handing out screens causes more problems than it solves.

Our solution is to become experts at finding other methods of car entertainment. Divided by age, here are some of our favorite unplugged road trip toys and activities.

Best Baby and Toddler Car Toys

Pop & Slide Shelly

10 months+

For years, this little turtle has been in our bag of "quiet toys" to take to church, and I have to say that for an adult I find it way too satisfying to push the colorful buttons down and slide them all around. I'm honestly not sure how to put the appeal into words, but for a low-key toy that doesn't make noise, flash lights, or even move much, it certainly fascinates the kids.

Skwish Rattle and Teether

newborn+

This is another one that you just can't not play with, I don't care who you are. Babies love to suck on the knobs at the ends and the ball easily stays in their hands even if they're not too good at grabbing things yet. Older kids like to squish the ball and watch it snap back into shape, or slide the colorful beads around. Another similar toy my babies have liked is the Oball, but this is my favorite.

Spin & Learn Color Flashlight

ages 1-3

To be perfectly honest I'm not sure my kids ever learned much by playing with this toy, but let's be honest: that's not why I bought it. The buttons and fun lights are fascinating to toddlers, and since they get yelled at every time they play with (and lose) the real flashlights in the house, they love this one. It's especially mesmerizing at night when the light really shines in the darkness. This can entertain a toddler for hours after sundown.

Best Road Trip Toys for Preschoolers

Color Wonder Markers and Accessories

ages 3+

Crayloa has a whole line of Color Wonder products with mess-free clear markers that only write on special Color Wonder paper. (As someone whose child has autographed various pieces of furniture, this is a life-changing product.) There are lots of different kinds of markers, coloring books, and blank drawing pads to choose from. FYI, there's also no-mess fingerpaint but I would not recommend that for the car (it's clear but still sticky.)

LCD Drawing Pads

ages 3+

This is an upgraded version of the Etch-A-Sketch or maybe the MagnaDoodle you're probably familiar with from your own childhood. While this may technically be a screen, I'm not counting it as one because it's not backlit and there's no passive watching going on with this toy. My kids can spend a long time drawing on this pad with the included stylus, pressing the button to erase, and drawing something new.

Reusable Sticker Books

ages 4+

Remember Colorforms? This is like that, but maybe better because the puffy shape of the reusable stickers is easier for chubby and/or uncoordinated fingers to get a hold of. The pages are sturdy and the books are spiral-bound so they lie flat easily. There are lots of different scenes so it takes a long time before a kid gets bored with this toy. Highly recommend.

Magnetic Dress Up Dolls

ages 3+

These have kept my kids plenty busy over the years. I like that the figures are girls instead of fully-developed women, and that their clothes are something you'd see in an elementary school instead of a night club. (Ahem, I'm looking at you, Barbie.) There are also specialty sets like princesses, mermaids, and firefighter/police. And if your kids aren't into dress up, they will probably love this human body set.

Best Travel Toys for Elementary-Age Kids

Usborne Doodle Books

ages 5+

What I love about the beautiful books in the Usborne Doodle series is that they're freeform enough to play with for a long time, but provide enough structure to keep kids from running out of ideas. On every page there's a partial drawing to complete (something really interesting like wacky robots, mazes built out of pipes, and so on) and even teenagers can get into this almost as much as their younger siblings.

Rubik's Twist

ages 8+

This is not like other Rubik's products, where unless your kid knows the solution they're just cubes of frustration. This is more like Rubik's Cube meets the tangram. It's a twisting puzzle (with traditional Rubik's colors) that can be bent, posed, and manipulated into hundreds of different shapes. Older kids will like trying to match the ones in the included challenge booklet, but mine mostly prefer to create their own or just experiment and see what happens.

Scratch Art

ages 6-15

My older kids love scratch art, especially my 14-year-old artist. It's basically drawing in reverse, so it works your brain as you try to create a picture using negative space (although you can make it as simple or complicated as you want.) The kit here is perfect for families: plenty of rainbow, gold, and silver paper plus 4 styluses so everybody can do it at the same time.


These offline travel toys are tested favorites of my kids on car trips. Phones and tablets are fine, but I prefer these because they get us all to our destination with a little less stress and restlessness.

Good luck on your next family road trip and don't forget to check out the rest of the list at Surviving a Road Trip with Kids!

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5 Bath Time Rules for Kids You Can Completely Ignore

At our house, we have a lot of rules.

There are rules about chores and food and screen time. I'd consider myself a strict-ish parent, and I'm sure my kids would agree. But there is one area where our family seems to break almost all the rules, and that is bath time.

You see, I think many of the "rules" of bath time make absolutely no sense, and never have. And therefore we disregard just about all of them.

Rule #1: Bathe Your Kids Every Day

Setting aside the fact that if we gave daily baths to all 6 of our kids we'd have a water bill that rivals  the national debt and single-handedly be responsible for killing the whales, I just don't see the point. Little kids are spot-cleaned as necessary all day long, meaning that unless they're smelly or covered in actual dirt I won't bother filling up the bathtub.

That means until puberty at least, baths in our house work out to once or twice a week (more frequently in the summer when kids are outside getting truly filthy.) Maybe it's my aversion to cleaning schedules in general, but I don't believe in The Daily Bath just because.

Rule #2: Calming Baths as Part of the Bedtime Routine

For my kids, bath time = playtime. There's nothing even remotely calming about any activity they perform in the tub. I've seen three stooges who are more chill than my three youngest in the bath, who egg each other on until the whole thing resembles either a demonic possession or a stampede at Wal-Mart on Black Friday.

Many times I've wondered as I sat in the bathroom supervising my kids' bath, completely drenched and cowering behind a towel, how in the world anyone has the mental fortitude to add the shenanigans of bath time to the already long and exhausting process that is getting kids to bed. I certainly don't.

Rule #3: Fun Tub Toys for Everyone!

Um, no. We used to have bath toys and a special bag suction cupped to the wall of the shower to theoretically let them drip-dry. In actuality, it was a glorified mesh mold factory that made me gag so hard I think I saw my own intestines once.

I'm one of the least germophobic people I know, but the thought of those grody toys climbing aboard the Toddler Hands Express and embarking on a non-stop trip to Mouthville was more than I could handle. I threw everything out and now their baths toys are limited to: bubble bath, colored bath drops, and whatever kitchen utensils I can put in the dishwasher afterward.

Rule #4: Baths are for Bathtubs

I know some parents are super-eager to get their kid in the real tub as soon as they can sit up but I ask you: WHY.

I never enjoyed kneeling on the tile floor and to be honest, it always felt like a gigantic waste of water to fill a tub for someone barely bigger than a hubbard squash. I figure if I wash my produce in the sink, I might as well put my babies and toddlers in there until they're no longer vegetable-sized.

Rule #5: Invest in Special Kid Everything

There are specialty baby washcloths, hooded towels, baby body wash, no-tears shampoo, kid bath visors, and foam faucet covers shaped like humpback whales. To which I say, huh?

I admit we once had some of those things from my first baby shower, back when we actually thought you needed half of Babies 'R Us to raise an infant, and sure, we use up the travel-sized bottle of Johnson's that comes home in the maternity ward swag bag. But for the most part we just use products from our shower and bathroom cupboards, and the kids seem to be surviving.

If you love giving your kids nightly baths or if you're a traveling rubber ducky salesman, that's totally fine! Your house, your rules.

But for those of you who secretly hate these bath time rules and follow them anyway because you think you're supposed to, I'm giving you permission right now to stop. You'll be in good company.

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