Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Things Every Mom Has Done At Least A Million Times

Motherhood is many things, but one thing it is NOT is an exercise in moderation. No, as a mom you often find yourself doing the same things over, and over, and over...

If you've been a mom for any appreciable amount of time, you've probably done all of these at least a million times:

1. Picked up the hand towel from the bathroom floor.

2. Discovered someone else's bodily fluid somewhere on your clothes.

3. Carefully arranged trash over something you didn't want the kids to know you threw away.

4. Told the kids "one cookie is enough" and then ate 6 after they left the room.

5. Burned food while multitasking.

6. Replaced a toilet paper roll... using the new roll someone left sitting on top of the empty holder.

7. Had a mental breakdown triggered by the sight of a random sock lying on the floor.

8. Told someone that poop jokes aren't funny (even if that particular one actually was a little funny.)

9. Washed the same load of laundry twice because you forgot to move it to the dryer.

10. Secretly cackled inside your head when you vacuumed up a Lego.

11. Put something in a special place so you wouldn't lose it and then forgot where that place was.

12. Did something your pre-kid self would have found disgusting.

13. Picked up dirty clothes from the floor right next to the hamper.

14. Ignored the voice in your head saying "This is such a cliché" as you ate a candy bar while hiding in the bathroom.

15. Discovered a new system that was going to streamline your family, organize your life, and probably create world peace (it didn't.)

16. Thrown away a carton containing 4 drops of juice from the fridge.

17. Googled "how to clean _________ out of _________."

18. Arbitrated disputes by yelling through the bathroom door.

19. Tried a new parenting technique from the Internet and had no clue what to do when the kids didn't respond like they are supposed to.

20. Put off going to the bathroom while doing child-related stuff for so long you worried about peeing your pants (and possibly did, I'm not judging.)

All of these are things you'll do many times as a mother, sometimes even in the same day. Oh, and you should probably spread trash over that candy bar wrapper in the bathroom garbage. The kids will see.

As a mom there are certain things you do over, and over, and over...  {posted @Unremarkable Files}

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27 comments:

AnneMarie said...

Yes! So many of these I've done frequently, and my little guy is only 7 months old! I really, really need to learn to quit multitasking while making food, but the urge to multitask is strong, and I usually forget that it always winds up in extra messes or burned food.

Unknown said...

I did 1, 2, 5 and 6 simultaneously earlier today... in other words, YES!

PurpleSlob said...

Only 1 million?? lol!

Handsfullmom said...

You had me at #3. hilariously true

Laura Darling said...

I love this! I'm not a mom yet, but I'm totally guilty of re-washing a load of clothes because I leave them in there too long. Also, my husband is forever leaving things in the fridge with four drops left. He always says "I thought you might want to finish it." No, it's half a teaspoon. I don't want it!

Jenny Evans said...

Originally I was going to call this post "Things Every Mom Has Done A Million Times" and then decided I'd probably done each of these way more than just a million. So I added the "at least" as a disclaimer.

Jenny Evans said...

How considerate of him.

Queen Mom Jen said...

Yes, yes. I have done all of these. Sheesh and I think what my kids do sometimes is weird... Look at their example :)

Barrie Bismark said...

Yep! Pretty sure I have done them all!
#fridayfrivolity

Elizabeth Spencer said...

Good news: according to this, I am a "normal" mother. Which is refreshing, because "normal" is not a word people often use to describe me. Thanks for the boost this morning! ;) Stopping by from Friday Frivolity!

The Lady Okie said...

I feel like some of this could be titled "Things Every WIFE has done a million times." Liiiiike, find random socks, replace the toilet paper with the roll right there, and googled, how to clean ___. haha! ;)

Mama Zen said...

Haha very funny! I am also guilty of re-washing clothes and turning dishwasher back on .. to buy more time before I have to deal with said clothes and dishes. I know. That's bad, isn't it?

Mama Zen said...

#FridayFrolics

jeremy@thirstydaddy said...

Besides the 5 year old, we have a 17 year old that we still are hiding food from! #fridayfriviolity

Unknown said...

I'm lol'ing because I've done all of the above! Favorite post of the day!

#FridayFrolics

Unknown said...

Done so many today alone!!!! I am guilty of the cookie one especially, and my toddler uses my shirt as a kleenex by whipping his nose on my shoulder......

You should link this up at #bloggerspotlight too!!
http://www.raisingfairiesandknights.com/blogger-spotlight-46/

Unknown said...

Haha I think I did at least half of them today! My biggest pet peeve right now is how they go to throw something away and it falls right beside trash can and they don't pick it up and throw it away again.
#FridayFrivolity

Claire | Life Love & Dirty Dishes said...

Ticked every one on this list! And done three today in the hour I've been with the kids! Thanks for linking up to #FridayFrolics

Island Living 365 said...

Same as Life Love and Dirty Dishes, I have ticked everyone of these. My fave is hoovering up the lego though ;-) #FridayFrolics

Jenny Evans said...

Stick around, and I will make you feel like the most normal mother that has ever mothered!

Jenny Evans said...

Thanks, I'll check it out.

Jenny Evans said...

Yesterday my 5-year-old unwrapped something and literally just threw the wrapper on the ground at her feet and started to walk away! This was in the living room, by the way. I was like "What are you, a medieval king? A caveman? Get back here and throw that in the garbage can!"

Jenny Evans said...

I know they're expensive, but it just feels GOOD anyway.

this that everything said...

Yes! This is fantastic - I did #1, 3, 13 & 16 today!!! #happynowlinkup

Unknown said...

Thanks for the weekly giggles - if laughter is the best medicine then #FridayFrolics is my new healthcare plan. lol ;)

Unknown said...

Hahaha! I've already done #9 today, and #15 and #19 are so unfortunately true. Thanks for joining us at the #happynowlinkup!

Ifeoma Samuel said...

Very funny list 😂😂😂
Oh being avmom is so fun and many times hilarious
Hugs