Wednesday, July 20, 2016

All the Highs and Lows of Motherhood

Yesterday was errand day. Three hours' worth of errands (including a pit stop at the mall play place) with my 4-year-old daughter, 2-year-old son, and a newborn in tow.

In case you're wondering how it went, I got an invitation to cut in the register line in front of two (two!) people.

Because my children were driving everyone CRAZY and they wanted to get us out of there.

At the post office, my daughter grabbed the bell on the door and shook it until it sounded like Rudolph was having a seizure in the lobby. Once everyone in the post office was deaf, she showed her brother how much fun it was to play with the retractable line dividers.

(Eventually I was able to coax them away from there, but I kind of wish I hadn't because they just went back to the bell.)

At CVS, my daughter stretched out both of her arms for maximum contact with ALL the merchandise on the way to the baby care aisle, where the 2-year-old knocked over every single bottle of baby wash on the shelf behind me while I looked for the right size of diapers.

In Target, my son ran behind the automatic door while I was talking to the customer service lady and it opened on him when a shopper came in. He wasn't hurt, but I think the shopper had a heart attack from squashing a child.

In the grocery store I corralled my son in the basket of the cart where he gnawed on a block of cheese through the plastic wrapper until it was mush, and his sister asked for marshmallows 47 times.

It was supposed to be a short trip for just a few essentials, but I forgot to factor in the time it would take to find a store employee to clean up the egg my son cracked open in the middle of the cereal aisle.

All the Highs and Lows of Motherhood -- Three hours of errands with three little kids can be both awesome and terrible. Much like parenting itself.  {posted @ Unremarkable Files}

I could stop right there and it would be a pretty amusing story about a hectic day. But that wouldn't be telling all of it. There were also plenty of moments when I was practically moved to tears by their sweetness.

  • In the car my 2-year-old pointed out every motorcycle he saw  and kept pointing it out until I acknowledged it. This is how it feels to be the most important person in someone's life. I'm lucky to have someone who loves me so much he wants me to be part of everything he sees.

  • At the same time, I was nodding and smiling as his 4-year-old sister talked nonstop planning every detail of her birthday parties for the next four years. I doubt she'll still want a pink and purple ballerina party when she's 8, but I love her enthusiasm all the same.

  • When I hoisted the baby's car seat out of the car at the post office, I told my 2-year-old "Hold hands in the parking lot!" I held out my hand, but he grabbed his sister's instead and I was so grateful that my kids were friends.

  • Walking through the mall, I couldn't help but laugh at my 4-year-old swinging her arms as she tried to speed-walk in front of all of us to lead the way to Target and the 2-year-old clomp-clomp-clomping after her like a refrigerator.

  • As they were both swinging from the sides of the cart like a merry band of pirates, I noticed a fellow shopper with her two teenage boys look wistfully after us. Her eyes crinkled and her expression almost audibly sighed, "Oh, I miss those days." Someday I'll remember this as the good old days, when everyone I loved was under one roof.

Yesterday, I spent three hours bouncing between two extremes: one minute I wanted to kiss my kids' downy little heads for pure joy and the next I wanted to leave them in the cart return for someone else to bring home. Repeat cycle.

Motherhood is both exasperating and wonderful. It's as fulfilling as it is draining.

That's why it can be so hard to answer the question, "How was your day?"

That's why Phillip never knows whether he's going to come home to find me weeping in despair as the kids demolish the house around me or whistling happily as they color to Mozart while a perfectly-cooked dinner is being put out on the table.

That's why we're all a little bit crazy sometimes.

Yesterday was errand day, but it was also a case study in all the highs and lows of motherhood.

When someone wants to know what it's like to be a mom, a thousand different things fly through my mind that all parents know but none of us can put into words.

Parenthood defies a simple answer, because each day is a jumble of everything the human heart could possibly hold.


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14 comments:

  1. Beautiful! Made me tear up, because it's just so true. ~Ruth Kershaw

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  2. Oh thank you, thank you, thank you for this post! This week (let's keep in mind it's only Wednesday) has been one of this "I want to pull my hair out every time someone tells 'MOM! At me" weeks but this helped me remember to think of all the good things about being a mom.

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    1. It's easy to focus on the exasperating (especially if you happen to be sleep-deprived) but there's usually at least some sweetness buried in there somewhere at the same time.

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  3. I love this! It's so true. I've found that it's difficult to respond accurately when friends ask "what have you been up to this week?" because there's just so much. Even though the easy answer has been "Well, Peter has been fussy this week, so it's lots of feeding, holding him, and Netflixing," that really doesn't cover the immensity of what my week has ACTUALLY been like ;)

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    1. It's pretty much impossible to answer that question. Phillip was saying the other day "We're so busy because I go to work every day and you... well, I'm not actually sure what you do. I know it's a lot, but I don't know what it is." It's just so hard to describe I don't even think I try anymore!

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  4. So true! I only have one (one! I feel so lame about being overwhelmed but anyway) and it's just so hard to know what to say when someone asks me how it is being a mom. I LOVE IT and also I"M EXHAUSTED some to mind almost simultaneously.

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    1. I think those have been my two answers for forever, too!

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  5. This is so perfectly descriptive of all the highs and lows, as promised!!
    I'm going thru the same thing with my grands. I promise its even better 2nd time around! And also more exhausting! ;)

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    1. So glad that it is. Sometimes I pass people in the mall giving us "the look" as in "Oh, how I miss those days with littles!" so it's good to hear I don't have to give it up entirely - there's always grandkids.

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  6. This post is such the reality, isn't it?! Errands are tough when I do them alone with the littles, despite kidding myself they're easier with Hun to help. I still get frustrated and I still get busy and I still redirect and prompt and remind. Yet, there's always the good. And, I, for one love the good! :)

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  7. Even as the mom of one, THIS IS SO TRUE. I constantly vacillate between despair and pure joy. It's exhausting and wonderful and I never want it to end but dear Lord please give me a vacation.

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    1. Funny how you can feel both of those things at the exact time. Perhaps if you felt that way about anything else you would be mental, but it's totally normal when you're a mom!

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