The day after I attempted to mince my finger making dinner, my 9-year-old fell off her bike and smashed her face on the ground. She fractured the root of her front tooth in three places, and we had to take her to the dentist who manually pushed it back into place (!) and splinted it with something that looks sort of like braces.
Since both injuries have happened around 5pm, Phillip says he doesn't even want to come home from work anymore to see what's waiting on the other side of the door. Meanwhile, we just keep hobbling around on our bloody stumps and hope that no further tragedy befalls our family.
My finger's looking better, but until it heals completely, I've been using Phillip's heavy-duty machining gloves to keep it dry when I do the dishes.
|Dainty little yellow rubber gloves? I don't think so. These are man gloves!|
Since the office had just closed when my daughter fell, the dentist on call asked us to send him a picture of her tooth. I was already pretty flustered from seeing her come in with blood all over her face, so my addled brain was barely able to figure out how to take a picture on Phillip's iPhone and text it. There's a limit to the number of new tricks that an old dog can do, especially when distraught.
Somehow, after sending the picture, the iPhone disappeared. It took a while to locate our house phone (which had also disappeared) to call the iPhone, only to find the 3-year-old playing with it in the other room with two missed calls from the dentist.
The Facebook page for Unremarkable Files has gotten an overhaul, so if you haven't visited in a while, you should! We're creating a real community over there and sharing parenting humor from all over the Internet.
My favorite 2 features of the new Facebook page are:
- Mom Problem Monday (if you've got a universal "mom problem" you'd like to see on the page, email me;) and
- Asking a new question every day. A few days ago I asked "What's the last thing your kid broke?" and got some pretty creative answers, from "the front window of our house" to "his brother's fingers!"
The question for today (posted around noon, EST) is: "What's the most embarrassing thing your child has ever done in public?"
I'll post a new question every day and I'd love to hear from you (and your crazy children.) If you visit, press "like," and then hit the little triangle and "get notifications," you'll be sure to see them on your timeline.
|Click to visit www.facebook.com/UnremarkableFiles, where no one's house is company-ready and everyone is always running late.|
My daughter's violin teacher was invited to be the guest artist at an orchestra concert in our area, and she scored us free tickets! The concert was amazing, but the funniest moment happened at intermission while we were waiting in line for the ladies' room.
A very stooped, aged woman needed help getting towels out of the paper towel dispenser, so the person in front of us helped her. The old woman turned to her and said, "I'm an angel, you know. The Bible says that if you have great-grandchildren you go right to heaven, and I've got great-grandchildren!"
We all laughed, and as she was going out of the restroom she said to no one in particular, "Good thing, because that's the only way I'm gettin' in!"
Now, how do you argue with that?
"Organize the basement" has been on my to-do list for, oh, about 5 years, so this week I set aside 30 minutes to work on it. I figured that was just long enough to accomplish something without getting overwhelmed.
Little did I know that my obsessive personality was going to make that time cut-off impossible. I was in the basement for 2 hours and spent a third of that time working on a half-finished Christmas craft I found down there. At this point, I don't even think it's my fault — I have a mental illness.
I had to laugh at the contrast between the drawings my 9-year-old brought home from school this week. She has two drawing styles: cute and sweet, or death and destruction.
|Fairy princess land vs. fiery haunted inferno.|
|Whimsical cartoon elephant vs. fire-breathing dragon who wants to kill you.|
She's always been like that, really. In 1st grade these were her two favorite book series:
Ah, Tartok the Ice Beast. Those were good times.
Playing around with the iPad, my kids made Siri start calling us "Hair Lady." I have no idea how they changed it or how to switch it back.
I guess it's not a big deal, since that feature only gets used in our house when the kids taunt Siri with insults, anyway. Do other people's kids do that?